Drawings.

Did some drawings last night of some slices. Can you guess who is who?

Church Notes | Out of the Ashes

The Lord has given me a word, something heavy on my heart, that this generation needs to restore honor to The Church. For far too long people who call themselves Christians have been doing hateful and fear-fueled things. Francis Chan's teaching on Sunday could not have been anymore timely. I really didn't know what restoring honor to The Church could looked like. Especially in the micro, in the macro it is very broad strokes of severing and loving the world as Christ did, but I was kind of at a loss for the intricate brush work of our everyday day-to-day. I do not want to come off like, "Ohhhhhh! I get it now!" Because I don't, I understand very little, but that is something I have realized this past year and a half. That I only understand what I need to, and in most of the cases what I am ABLE to understand for this step of the journey. And to be 100% honest, do I need to know what is gonna happen 3 steps from now or do I just WANT to? Anywho I digress, back to things I am blessed with understanding in. The Church needs to rise the from the ashes of the idiots morons and selfish men and women who were Christians in name only. We will need to distinguish ourselves, and the ONLY was we can do that is through love! Sacrificial love. Intelligent love. Funny love. Gentle love. Bold love and so forth.

How to start this process? Look at your own hearts and ask the Lord to show you areas of pride and fear. Then ask Him to show you and how to replace those areas with trust, humility, and love. It won't be easy, but when has anything easy been memorable or powerful?






P.S. The drawing is supposed to represent coming out of ashes, and the Owl is something the Lord uses to speak to me, and they are cool, ANNNNND they are fun to draw. :D

Redeeming August

First off a commentary on Circles, and for those of you who are on their game I thank you and apologize, but that is not me so here goes.

I love you guys so much! It’s pretty crazy, because last year I was very selfish with how and when I would use the word “love”. Thinking that my not using the word somehow kept its integrity intact. I realize now that what I thought was saving was actually strangling. To not use the word when its called for is it the exact opposite of what I was trying to do. I felt others used it out of context way too often. Something I realize now is that overcompensation doesn’t make things right, it just throws things even more off balance.

So yes I love you all. I love this program and group dynamic! These past two months for me in CIRCLES have been really bad. I have been really lame, this compromise of my commitments for CIRCLES is even reflecting into my own personal spiritual life. I started CIRCLES strong and excited! Blogging! Reading! Meeting! I want these last 2 months with you guys to be like the first four months with you guys! I want to finish this race set before me. I am not going to fizzle out. Both for me and for you! It’s exactly what I said above, I love you guys! When I read your stuff and have conversations with you on Saturdays I get so blessed! For me to back off and get lazy is really me hurting you. I know life can get in the way, it has for me these last two months. We are not perfect, we will struggle EVERYDAY! I hear what you are all going through, interestingly enough it seems that similar struggles are prowling around the group, like a roaring lion looking to devour. We are in this together and I want to finish this commitment strong! I want August to mean something! I won’t greet September with a shrug. So basically sorry AGAIN for being lame.

I am going to step up my game!

I WILL BLOG!

I WILL READ!

I WILL BE THERE ON SATURDAYS!
\(except July 14 when ill be in Florida nerding it up)

I WILL LOVE!

This was very Engageing!

A friend sent me this article like 45 mins ago! It is so provoking that I had to share it with you guys! Here is the link to the actual article, but I also copied and pasted here so I can make the parts that really spoke to me big and red! :D

I was gonna write commentary on it, but he wrote it so wonderfully that there is not need for my opinion, well other than, "What he said!".

Six Ways to Engage Culture

 

Jonathan Dodson

 

In a recent interview, singer/songwriter Rufus Wainwright surprisingly remarked: "We're so obsessed about debunking Bush in this country that we don't spend time on any other subjects. That's a little depressing." Wainwright's point is that many Americans neglect a whole range of cultural issues, often neglecting political engagement for finger-pointing.

 

What's more depressing is that many Christians are just as guilty of this charge as non-Christians. As a result, there are few citizens who think through cultural issues critically, and even fewer who think them through redemptively. Here are six ways to promote critical and redemptive engagement with culture.

1. Engage culture prayerfully. I'm not suggesting that we should actually bow our heads and recite a prayer before reading a newspaper or book, watching TV or a movie, or going shopping, though that certainly wouldn't hurt. Instead, we are to live life and engage culture in a spirit of dependence upon God;
we are to pray without ceasing (1 Thess. 5:17).
We should approach culture just as we should approach all things: prayerfully.
What should we pray? We should thank God for the gift of culture, confessing that all cultures contain truth, beauty, and virtue, asking Him to help us recognize and rejoice in these good gifts, which come down from the Father of lights (James 1:17). Alternatively, all cultures also disdain truth, beauty, and virtue. Thus, we are dependent upon God to enable us to recognize and reject those things that are harmfully false, ugly, and immoral. By asking God to give us the perspective of His Spirit, "the Spirit who searches out all things, even the depths of God" (1 Cor. 2:10), we can begin to discern between the things which are true, beautiful, and good and the things that are false, ugly, and evil.

2. Engage culture carefully. When approaching any given issue, from parenting to politics, we all have our biases. In order to engage culture well, we must strive to avoid the paths of both the sectarian and the secularist, of both blind rejection and uncritical acceptance. This will require careful investigation into the issues we face, taking the opposing view seriously and weighing its merits.
Make a habit of hearing both sides of an issue before you baptize your opinions. Be slow to speak and quick to listen (James 1:19).

3. Engage culture biblically-theologically. Why hyphenate biblical and theological? Why not just say "think biblically"? Well, the plain fact is that the Bible does not explicitly address most cultural issues. It does not tell you who to vote for, which school to go to, what movies to watch, whether or not you should date, whether or not to abort your baby, or how to respond to cloning. Instead, the Bible offers theological principles which we can appropriate in order to form opinions and convictions about cultural issues. For instance, there is no verse in the Bible that reads: "Thou shalt not have an abortion." However, the Bible does inform us that God is the author of life and that to take human life is murder, which is prohibited by God. The circumstances surrounding abortion can be complex. A mother's life may be threatened if the life of the baby is not taken. The Bible does not say, "Preserve the mother's life." However, there are principles and practices in Scripture that can help us make wise decisions about cultural and ethical dilemmas.
The problem, however, is that we often start with cultural assumptions about what is right, beautiful, and good and go to the Bible to prove them. Instead, we need to bring cultural questions about what is true, good, and beautiful to the Bible, reflect on them theologically and then prayerfully, and carefully form our opinions. Don't begin with cultural convictions and end with biblical proof-texts; end with cultural wisdom by beginning with biblical-theological reflection. Start with the biblical text and reflect theologically on cultural issues. Move from Text to Theology to Culture, not the other way around.

3. Engage culture redemptively. Strive to connect your theological reflections regarding culture to redemption. We can redemptively engage culture in two ways: practically and positionally. To practically redeem, identify what is broken, what is in need of redemption, and take restorative action. Ask yourself questions like "How can I bring the gospel to bear on this issue?" or "How can I restore, forgive, or reconcile in this situation?" For example, if you come to the conviction that abortion is ugly and immoral, think about how you can help those who are suffering from the devastating affects of abortion.
Don't just debate others. Volunteer at a crisis pregnancy center. Learn how to counsel mothers. Don't become self-righteous and inactive; practice your cultural convictions. Live them out redemptively. Our practice should flow from our position in Christ.
Our actions ought to reveal our redeemed identity, not form our identity. Consider the danger of mistaking your newly-formed habits for who you are. For instance, do you think of yourself now as an environmentalist or as a citizen of Zion with an environmental conscience? Do you draw significance from being a "pro-lifer" or from being new creation in Christ Jesus? Ask yourself, "Am I confusing my practice with my position?" or "Am I finding my significance in what I do instead of who I am in Christ?" Guard yourself from subtly allowing cultural convictions to take the place of your identity in Christ. Ground your identity in the gospel and your practice will be more redemptive and more honoring to the Lord.

4. Engage culture humbly. Recognize that you have much to learn from a given culture. Read, converse, and reflect on cultural issues with a teachable heart. Ask God to shape your convictions through whomever or whatever He wills. Avoid proud dogmatism and cultivate humble conviction. Don't put others down who believe differently from you.
Consider others more important than yourself without surrendering your convictions. Yet, be willing to revise your opinions through a process of Text-Theology-Culture.

5. Engage culture selectively. Realize and embrace the limitations of your own time, experience, and interests. Spend your time wisely. Don't sacrifice time with God, church, or family in order to become more culturally savvy.
Everyone has been created differently, to live a unique life. Make the most of your experience by redemptively engaging culture, but try to avoid making the experience of others your own.
There are too many issues in the world for you to become an overnight expert on Christ and culture. Be selective about what you engage. 

Summarizing the Six Ways

When engaging culture prayerfully, we depend on the wisdom that comes from the Spirit who searches out all cultures, who can enable us to recognize and rejoice in what is true, beautiful, and good, and reject or redeem what is false, ugly, and immoral. As a result, engaging culture can become an act of communion with God. Relying on the wisdom of the Spirit will also mean careful investigation of cultural issues, being critical of our own biases while maintaining an open ear to the arguments of others. However, we're not left to navigate the turbulent waters of our culture with only prayer and reason. God has given us his Word, a divine and authoritative Text from which we can glean wisdom and theological principles to engage culture. When wrestling with issues, we must be careful to bring questions, not assumptions, from our culture to the Word, following a pattern of Text-Theology-Culture. This biblical-theological engagement with culture should always lead to redemptive action, restoring what is ugly and immoral from our position as accepted children of God, citizens of Zion. In turn, we can engage culture humbly and selectively, recognizing our limitations and rejoicing in our unique opportunities to engage the world around us. Finally, try to practice these six ways of engaging culture not just as an individual but in community. To put a spin on Rufus Wainwright's words: Only when the Church in this country becomes obsessed with glorifying God in all things will we critically and redemptively engage our culture on all kinds of subjects.

 

Giftings

This past weekend was so awesome guys! Such a great time to spend with you all in one place for longer than 2 hours! :D One of the biggest blessings to me was how much talk, conversation, and intentional use of the Spiritual Gifts. This is something that the Lord has really been pouring to my heart and pounding into my head over this past year. Couple that with this past weekend and add what our Church Leadership and Family at RockHarbor is doing, I am really inspired!!

I just wanted to encourage you ALL to continue to walk towards the Lord and risk for Him! Use the spiritual gifts He has given you, develop them! If you are not sure what they are, I would encourage you to pray about them specifically. He will show you what they are, and 9 times out 10 you are using them without realizing it! As long as your concern is for His glory you are safe in the center of His will! During worship I looked across the circle of us slices and saw Kate praying and singing. I got an, for lack of a better term, "image". When I say "image" in this context it's more of a braiding of an image, inspiration, and insight. That sounds much move convoluted/complex than it needs to. Basically we all know how the Spirit speaks to us individually, He spoke to me in this. So during the study and I drew what I saw and felt, praying about it here and there and listened to Darin teach. I could have kept that to myself and that could have been the end of it, that would have been the comfortable thing to do. What if my silly drawing was way off, what if it wasn't any of my business to do that, what if? what if? what if? Instead i didn't mind risking and showing her. Thirty minutes and two smores later we had an awesome conversation! It was encouraging to her and me. When we willingly walk into what the Lord has for us Glory is generated.


So thank you again for all of your hearts and minds! The Lords is almighty and POWERFUL! WE WILL WALK IN THAT POWER!

Love

I am so blessed by this group. Such love.

I just want to thank each and everyone of you for your friendship, brotherhood, sisterhood, patience, encouragement, and leadership these past 4 months, especially the past month. These last 4 weeks have been a very difficult and dark month. I have withheld form blogging for many reasons; shame, frustration, apathy, guilt. Basically just death, but I am alive! And I must repent from death! So I ask you all to continue to forgive me, encourage me, rebuke me, and love me! If I want the Lord to be Glorified in and through me I need to leave room for him be glorified! I know I have in the past, but it's to march into the future He has for me!

There is such a powerful Spirit stirring up in CIRCLES, and I am so excited amd blessed to be amongst and a part of it! I love you all so so so so MUCH! And I long to be on the battlefields with you! MAY WE RUN OUT WITH CONFIDENCE AND POWER!

Faithful

God is just so faithful!! He met me very specifically last week, but lets set the stage first.

First off, this deep into CIRCLES, most of you probably know that I like to draw during church. At first it was fun, and a good excuse/method to get some of my spiritual life in front of the eyes of the audience of the PodCast I am on.

Secondly, this past year has been a long and powerful journey. The tail end of which being a time of spiritual awakening. I know that this sounds dramatic, but just stick with me. The first step of this "awakening" was realizing and seeing the Spirits existing work in and around my life. Through and in things like my personality, history, talents, and struggles. This realization helped me to look at my personality, history, talents, and struggles with the Lord in mind. Seeing these things in the Light that only He can shead helped me to see Him in them. Seeing Him in them helped me realize that they are His, making it easier to give them back to Him.

Thirdly was learning the Power of choosing to have an expectant and humble heart. That is fertile soil for the Lord to sew His seeds.

The stage is now set, so lets rewind to the Sunday before last, April 3, 2011. On my way to RockHarbor I was having a conversation with the Lord about what He has been doing in my heart and mind. Specifically with how He has used my spiritual gifts in and through my drawings. I wasn't doubting His hand in it, or even questioning it. Because I KNEW He had been in it. I realize now as I sit here in Starbucks that I was challenging, or asking Him rather, if He was going to continue to use me in this manner. I left it at that, went to the Hangar to help set up. Met my friends in our regular spot in the Sanctuary on the left hand side under the good lighting (for drawing). Worshiped. Prayed. Worshiped. Etc. Then the study started, I prayed that I would be inspired to draw something, or be given an image. I sat and waited for a little while. Darin then said something about justice and I got an image. An image of a man holding scales. As I drew it it became more clear. It turned out to be our very own Zach! In the scales that he was holding there was a heart of flesh that was being out weighted by fruit. After the study I was serving with Zach in the Hangar and had the opportunity to share the drawing and what the Lord put on my heart about it with him. I always get nervous about sharing that stuff with people because I don't want to come off as, "THUS SAITH THEE LORD!!" That knee-jerk response is out of fear, not decrement. And fear is never to be reacted out of, so I did my best to die to myself and be bold. And I know and trust Zach, even if I was way off he wouldn't kill me. Long story a little bit shorter we had a great conversation about the drawing. At the end of the night he came back up to me and handed me a letter. When I got home to read it I was so blessed. It was really awesome. The Lord answered the questions I had earlier that night through Zach's letter.

Zach

I write this not to brag or anything like that at all. But to encourage. If you were to tell me a year ago that I would be writing this Blog today I would have been extremely skeptical, and probably thrown in an eye roll. The week prior to this story I was drawing and it turned out to be my brother, and when I called him to tell him about it we had the most wonderful and AWESOME conversation about what God was doing in each of our lives.

Be bold guys, and trust deeper! And expect the Lord to move. That give Him room for Glory and Honor in our hearts, and the hearts of the others around you!

I love you all.

my Brother

Joseph

Once again God's wisdom and meets me in the form of Hindsight.

This week I was going to blog about my lunch hour on Monday. I am glad I am blogging about it now on Sunday after Circles. For those who were not there or have horrible memories we went over the story of Joseph. This fresh approach of the classic Biblical story is what I needed to tempter the truth I got on Monday.

The Monday Life Drawing Class is every other week with an emphasis on Gesture drawing. I had been avoiding that class because I am already quite strong in that type, style, process of drawing. The models ware costumes and I felt that I needed to work on the more technical side of life drawing. Basically I wanted to brush up on my anatomy. So over the last few months I had been going to the Wednesday Anatomy classes. But a few weeks ago when I spoke with the lady who was runs that Storyboard program at work she told me that I should go to the Monday classes because they are instructed by a storyboard artist. So I figured why not. Lets now go to last Monday, I had just eaten an early lunch and was the second person in the class room. I gather my supplies and pick a place to sit. I go to sign in and the guy who got there before me, who I am now sitting next to, is someone who I used to post on an art forum with, now he is a big storyboard artist there. The forum was really big for it's art and comics back in 2003-2006. My posting on that forum stopped shortly after they realized I was a "political conservative" and all started to ignore me. He wasn't mean about it from what I can remember. I didn't introduce myself because he was busy talking to other people by this point.

Other people start to fill the room and then we all start drawing. The class started with 1 minuet poses and eventually went to 2 minuet poses. During the class the instructor was walking around. He stopped at me and asked what department I was in, I told him I was a P.A. [Production Assistant] and he was surprised and said something along the lines of, "...oh. Well you seem to really know what you are doing, keep up the good work." Later in the class he took a drawing from the guy I was sitting next to and walked it around the class and was describing what he was doing right and such. When he got to me I went to look at it and he basically told me yours is just as good.

That was and is a HUGE encouragement! I was really encouraged. I even email the instructor after the class and "thanked" him for teaching the class. Since I am being honest here I just wanted to open a dialogue here and "encourage" him to remember me. And this is what stuck out to me when were were reading Joseph's story. When he told the cupbearer to remember him. Ha ha that is EXACTLY WHAT I WAS DOING!

I am royalty working in the kingdom as a page, watching others rule over the things that I am designed for. I don't mean to sound arrogant, but like Joseph I know what the Lord has something for me, and even more so like Joseph I need to stop promoting myself. The giftings and talents I "have" aren't even mine. I need to remember that they are not for me! They are for Him! When I keep that in the forefront of my mind and heart it protects me from the temptations of pride and vanity in the forms of grandeur, self sufficiency, and success.

Protect me lord from myself.

More of you less of me.

Church Notes | Blood Money

We are going thought a study that will take us up to Easter Sunday titled "Witness' of Christ". Each Sunday is focusing on a person that Christ encountered during the week leading to the crucifixion. So far we have met Mary Magdalene with her unexpected and extravagant manner of worshiping Christ. Encountered the Pharisees and saw how blind their hearts were when what they were looking for was right in front of them. And about 2 weeks ago met the man I am blogging about right now, the betrayer; Judas Iscariot.

For me Judas has been a source of mixed emotions. He was the man who betrayed Christ and then hung himself. I've always wondered why he betrayed Christ? And why he committed suicide and what did his suicide mean? For a long while I would wonder if he even had a choice.

But I realized that we can't really ask the question if he had a choice. We have to assume he did have choice, because we've all had choice, all of us from Eve to Adam to you and me. I truly believe that choice is a primary form that God's love takes in our lives. If we did have the ability to choose we would be incapable of love, and on a side note and slight tangent, that is why addiction is so evil, it mars our ability to choose, but thats a blog for another time so anywho...

I always thought as a child that Judas betrayed Jesus because be was greedy and was supposed to. What I realized in that study, and have been trying to blog about for the last 2 weeks, was that Jesus wasn't what Judas wanted him to be. Judas did not understand how this man was going to establish a new kingdom and he did not submit his understanding to the both the Scripture and the prophet standing in front of him. His pride and vanity stood in the way not allowing him to see Jesus as a true prophet, let alone the Christ and Son of God. Out of what we can assume to be immense frustration and bitterness he turned Jesus in to the authorities. Even after the crucifixion I don't think he recognized Jesus as the Christ. He said that he spilt the blood of an innocent man, not that the Blood of the son of God. I really think this line of thought is supported through the actions Judas took after his admission. He did not seek repentance and redemption, but wallowed in his own remorse incapable, himself, of solving the issue, and I really feel that that desperation and isolation is what opened his heart and mind to suicide.

Basically what I got from this study was that I need to be careful to not allow pride to blind me from seeing how Christ want to work in and through my life. And that there is a world of difference between remorse and repentance.

Wisdom

These is from February 6th, Super Bowl Sunday. I colored it weeks ago but I didn't make the time to write about it, so here goes.



Every year for the last 4 years I make plans to watch the Super Bowl with six of my best friends. This year we went back up to Apple Valley, where our friends Matt and Amy live. I always look forward to the time I can spend with my friends up there, but I especially look forward to talking with Matt. He is such a wise man and it just spills into every conversation he has. With all that the Lord has taught me shown me this year I wanted to be able to bless him or speak some truth into his life. So I prayed about that specifically before I went up. All six of us were sitting around, drawing, knitting, putting kids to bed, playing video games etc when they realized they were out of dog food. Matt was going to go to PetsMart and asked if anyone wanted to join him, everyone else said no but I felt the Lord say go, so I did. It was a great time of fellowship over buying a bag dog food. I had just listened to that episode of the Orbiter where Darin shared how someone told him he should be a teacher and not a singer. And how that man told Darin that he was already teaching, he was just doing it through his songs and shows. I knew that truth would find a home in Matt. Matt works at High Desert Church as a Graphic Designer and he is a teacher by nature. It's just right now he teaches via his designs. Matt approaches design differently, its not about how good it looks its about how effective the message is. I know that is the point of a good designer, but for most designers it goes like this; great design that doesn't distract from the message. For Matt the design is there support the message, and since the message is beautiful, compelling, and challenging the design is then beautiful, compelling and challenging. He is selfless in it. Long story short I asked him about pastoring and teaching and shared that story about Darin. A couple of weeks later he shared with me that he spoke with the leadership at his church expressing a desire to go down that path and try his hand in teaching or administration or something like that. I don't know exactly what it looks like, but they were receptive of it, and he said thanks recognized Gods hand in our conversation. I thought that was pretty awesome. Kids the message of today's blog post is be intentional with what the Lord is doing in your life!

As for the drawing this is my friend Matt. I know he has the gift of wisdom, and that wisdom grips his heart and gives him vision. So that's what the drawing is of.

Vanity

I have been meaning to write this blog all week, excited about that the Lord is going to show me as I write it. It's so stupid that it took me to Saturday to make time for this. I am sorry Lord. I need to be more intentional, and I can not afford to forget that truth. I live, we live! in such an overly busy and many times falsely "hectic" culture. False because very seldom do we stress out over things that merit such investment of our time, and emotional stress. Now that I am aware of this battle on the plains of my heart I need to fight it, and fight it with intentionality. If I know I am going to be busy tomorrow, then I need to go to bed early tonight so I can intentionally have time to spend with the Lord.

Any who my intentions for this post is not about intention. But about something else that the Lord has been showing me about my heart. Ever since 3 weeks ago when Darin had us read that print out about repentance and confession. At first while reading through it I didn't really sink in. The Lord has done A LOT in my heart this past year. I heard whispers of the enemy saying, "you have already learnt all of this... this offers you nothing you don't already know. This is probably for the others now you" That last statement was what made me realize these are thoughts were not my own, and definitely not from God. So I prayed what the Lord would humble me and help me see through the lies to the truth of the situation.

After Circles I hung out with some friends from church. A bunch of us met up out in LA to see the Groundlings perform (if you are unaware they are a sketch comedy club, a lot of SNL guys come from there). After we went to dinner at this really cool place with the best name EVER! It was called Frankie's Place! haha it was cool. In fact Frankie was there to greet everyone, and he was quite pleased to meet another Frankie, as was I. I though I was having fun, but on the drive home my friend texted me and basically told me in that I was an ass to her all evening. Sorry for the language, but that word communicates best on how I was acting. "Jerk" or "mean" just doesn't cut it. At first my ego flared up, an instant later I felt the Lord place his hand on my heart to quiet it. He was then able to tell me that it was pride.

From that moment the Lord has been showing me some of the deeper parts of my heart. The lesson I am learning now is how Vain I am. He is showing me how widespread this issue is in my heart, my ego, my art work, my weight, my perception of myself, my view of the world, and I am sure the list can go on. How it so goes against what the Lord is growing and developing in me. Both in my talents, with my artwork, and with my spiritual gifting, with discernment. Basically what I am learning is that Vanity is just a prettier form of pride. Pride gets in the way and take the Glory from God. So the less vanity there is the less pride there is, and the less pride there is the less of me there is, and the less of me there is the more of Him there is, and the more of him there is the more He can do. And that is just super cool.

And I have to be careful not to be VAIN enough to think this is an issue I face alone! ha ha the devil is so crafty, good thing God is smarter. :)

Please keep this issue in prayer for me. Thanks guys.

P.S. -I love you all.

Here and Now by Henri J. M. Nouwen

Here and Now

-by Henri J. M. Nouwen

This book merits a second read. For two reason. One, it is just so filled with practical wisdom! Its dense and rich! I can honestly say I know I didn't get from it all that I could have. That brings me to reason number two, I rushed through it. That is my own fault and battle, reading is hard for me. I ended up getting the Audio book to help me finish it off so i wouldn't fall behind. I listen to audio books on a regular basis, I LOVE them. But there is an intimacy that reading the actual book offers that you just miss out on when listening to it while driving too and from work. This is definitely a book I will go back to.

What spoke to me the most while reading/listening to this was how much his advice, wisdom, and stories were directly rooted in scripture. You can only get such "casual" application and clear vision of the Bibles teaching by reading it. That has been a conviction in my heart for the past 2 months or so. That conviction to read more was spurred on by this book, and confirmed when a friend of mine just came right out and asked me how much I read my Bible. It has been a struggle, but I have been reading my Bible before I read other books to help prepare my heart and mind.

I think I am gonna get try and find and audio book of the Bible.

Lameness

First of all sorry about the delay Slices. I dropped the ball these past two weeks on my blog. There aren't many reasons, mainly just excuses, it wont happen again.

Oh and my short term and long-term goal list is to come! I want your guys prayer and accountability. I kinda like you guys! :D

Long Term and Short Term

I didn't get to to my blog last week except for the cat thumb video, which was awesome!, so here goes. My Here and Now one is to come.

I got some major clarity after speaking with Lindsay at Dannah's place on Febuary 27th. She asked me a question I got an answer to 8 years ago, the funny thing is that I didn't realize I was asking myself that question again! She asked me if I ever thought of working at a church doing art. When I was younger I was distracted by the question, "art or ministry?" Distracted so much so that I took nearly a whole year off of college and a whole a semester of Calvary Chapel Bible College classes at an extension campus in Diamond Bar. It took that whole year for me to understand what the Lord was trying to tell me. That He was going to use my art AS my ministry. So then I prayed about working at church and being a designer there. Then God gave me that job at my old church. I was part-time graphic designer for the last 2 years of college at my then church. It was awesome and powerful. So basically the Lord gave me my dream job when I was 22. I was forced to dream bigger, and forced to face the fact that my desires lay outside the church walls. Then I had to learn another lesson, that that is okay. It's okay that i want to draw for a living, it's okay that I feel called into the entertainment industry. He has given me keys to that kingdom, who not use them! Lindsay's question was needed, I was begging to separate art from ministry, when that is one in the same. And then God is just awesome, I see His hand setting things in place for me at DreamWorks. It's like I giant and powerful game of chess and I am content at being God's pawn. He knows what he is doing. One thing that especially stands out is a meeting I had last Wednesday with an old classmate. He is a story artist for DreamWorks so i asked if I could pick his brain. It was awesome, and it was even cooler hearing the Lord speak behind him, basically half of the time he was just a Muppet for the Lord. So much tactile wisdom came from that meeting. I got some VERY clear direction on what I am called to do. I am going to make long term and short term goals after my meeting tomorrow, Wednesday march 9, 2011 at 11:00am. Pray for me and keep me accountable.

Cat's With Thumbs

This is a completely frivolous post. I'll write a real blog soon! :)

I just HAD to share this.

Notes

God spoke to me in some pretty significant and specific ways this week. Hiding little notes and doodles for me in various moments and encounters. Some may doubt it or think it's silly, but what are just scribbles to anyone else are detailed and intentional love letters to me, and vice versa. And it doesn't hurt that I know what the Lords hand writing looks like in my life. I found the first note on Monday, it was hidden in the last chapter of a book that I borrowed months ago. Some history on this book; this book was quite instrumental in what I now shall refer to as my "Spiritual Renaissance". This past summer was a really difficult for me, a lot was involved. Among other things it involved a fracture friendship/brotherhood (I won't get into any details on that, but any and all prayers on the subject would be awesome). This book, that I actually borrowed from that friend, kept me grounded, sober-minded, and my heart focused on the Lord while chunks of my life started to crack and be challenged. When I got to the last few chapters I started reading them slower and slower until I stopped altogether. I would read little bits here and there until I made it to the last chapter. But it was just was flat and lacking life. I knew it was a timing thing, so I waited. I now understand why. I would not have been ready to understand what was waiting for me in that last chapter. Other places that the Lord hid messages for me through out the week were in a few different PodCast's (some that wanted to listen to and others that I didn't), talking with friends, listening to a dream my friend had, reading during my lunch break, and I am sure there are a few I cant remember right now. Its pretty amazing how amazing He is. I love the Lord so much, and not just what He does for me but HOW He dose it. Its good to meditate on how the Lord ministers to us. It allows us to see past what He is doing to why He is doing it. And what better way to deepen our love and relationship with Christ than to better understand His Character.

The only thing these messages or notes had in common was the intentionality. Each time I felt the Lord's still small voice tell me to slow down, read, or listen. And with the obedience to that still small voice came these powerful little blessings. Lets all try and be more intentional.

The Blog that was a week in the making...

Hey Slices! You guys get to listen to me talk about this weeks drawing. My other blog got the notes on the sermon. The art stuff is more open to interpretation. The Lord has been using it as tool to sharpen the different spiritual gifts in me, and CIRCLES is a place for me to be much more vulnerable, candid, and open. Open for encouragement, correction and everything in between. So here goes!

The Drawing before PhotoShop.

These are a few spiritual gifts illustrated. Something you should understand is that I love symbolism! and over the last 6 months or so I've realize why. It's because the Lord uses, and has always used, symbolism to minister to me, just keep that in mind. This is what the Lord put on my heart to draw on Sunday. Now what only took about forty minuets to sketch took a lot longer to understand. The deeper true meaning of the sketch was unfolded to me thought out the week as I colored it and thought about what I meant. A quick side-note on how the Lord works. I find it really awesome that on Sunday all I was doing was drawing a fun picture and listening to an awesome sermon. I had no idea of the true meaning of the drawing while I was drawing it. Which is awesome because it wasn't at all a distract from the sermon. Not only did it distract me from the message it allowed it to follow me around all week! Okay so back to the drawings; the Owl is wisdom, the Eye made of the flaming tongue [like Pentecost] is decrement, the flowers growing out of the heart is joy, and the key I'm pretty sure is a form of healing. At first it was difficult for me to give meaning to all of them. But throughout the week the Lord has given me more and more, like on Wednesday I understood the flowers represent Joy. And as I was typing this I looked up the spiritual gifts on my iPhone interwebz and the Lord told me the key is a representation breaking bondage or a spiritual healing. Then the Lord continued to show me that these are the gifts he is nurturing in me right now. I was hesitating to share that at first, but I realized that was fear. So I am choosing to be bold here, and I trust the Lord with that. Thank you guys for letting me ramble about what's on my heart onto this blog.

The Drawing after Photo Shop

And you should all know that am starting to fall in love with all y'all.

Church Notes | Contentment

I have been wanting to color this for almost 2 weeks now, but I wasn't able to. I had some freelance that ate up all my time. This is from the service on contentment. The imagery was influenced from the end of The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, when they meet the star named Ramandu. I wrote a whole post about him earlier this month, I guess it just really inspired me.

Basically she is a star content with hanging in the night sky. Not needing to burn any brighter than her sisters. Content at playing her part in the symphony of lights in the sky. Resting in the balance of unity and uniqueness. We all need to strive to find our special place in the sky to burn brightly for the Lord.

I know I am cheesy, but I mean every syllable of it.

The Joy Bringers

Okay, as I stand on a third floor balcony overlooking the beautiful grounds of the studio that I am blessed to work at I am about to out myself. I hope you orbiters, slices, circlers, etc appreciate this...



I know I mentioned in a previous blog that I love cats, and well its super true (not that there are degrees to truth, I am just being dramatic with a bit of whimsy for effect). This week I wasn't sure what to blog about. I even had another life drawing session at work and thought, "Maybe the Lord shall speaketh again!" No dice. Then my mind wondered back this video, my good friend Nick posted this on my Facebook wall earlier in the week. It made a good day even better! I don't know what it is about cats that bring me such unbridled joy, but they do. I am sure it's joy, not just happiness. Even on a bad day cats can claw their way right through that negative circumstance and bad mood and bring me a smile. Nothing changed other than the fact that I had a smile.

I could make some lame attempt to make this video more relevant by saying that I posted this as an illustration on how we need to slowdown and really look at things. While that is true, that isn't the reason this kitten is on my blog this week. I posted it b/c for some reason the Lord has put a deep appreciation for cats in me. Why? I don't know, and I am not even sure I care to know. But what I do know is that this is a path the Lord has used in the past to get me to smile when I didn't want to, and comfort when I didn't have any peace.

Long story short Cat's are one of my Joy Bringers. What is your Joy Bringer?

Photo

This is me trying t be "gangster".
I hope this isn't an offensive hand gesture.
If it is pls TELL ME so I can change it.

Chasing Cars

The other night at work they offered a life painting session form 6:00pm-9:00pm. Since I usually linger in Glendale anyways to miss traffic on my 47 mile commute I was all in! I was excited and nervous, I hadn't done thins kind of painting in ages! I was also excited for the quiet time this would provide. In a room filled with other people painting it is you are all alone together.

As I was painting I was praying that the Lord would speak to me. An hour or so goes by and nothing, so I rummage through my bag and get out my ear buds and plug them into my iPhone. I didn't know what to listen to, so I go to a playlist I made in the summer of 2009 called, "Songs I Like Right Now". Now for some back story on this particular playlist, this playlist in it's day was the "ish"! I was on tour that summer and had a LOT of down time driving from state to state to work on this sucker. All that to say that these were not just random songs. Back to painting! So I hit shuffle on that play list, "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol comes on. While listening to this I realized I liked this song a lot more back then. It was actually kind of annoying. I ask myself and God why is that? I used to love this song! Then the Lord spoke to me, He said, "You used to like this song because you had a similar wound as the men and women who created it. It spoke to you on an intimate level. Between now and then you have trusted me with that wound and I have healed it. Our intimacy eclipses shallow nature of what that song meant to you."

I was blessed and humbled by this revelation. Humbled in the since that I can now choose to be a little more patient when people tend to like songs, books, or movies that I find stupid.

I hope that made sense.

Ramandu

I am sitting here at corner bakery trying to read, but I cant. So I guess I'll blog.

As I said in my last blog I love listening to books on tape, or I guess they are called audio books now. Last month the Narnia series was on sale on iTunes for only $9.99! All 7 books unabridged!! I am sad to say that I haven't ever read the entire series. A few years ago I read, "Magicians Nephew"and "The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe". I have been meaning to read the rest but haven't made the time for it. So now I am listening to the Chronicles of Narnia on my iPhone while I drive.

I am up to, “The Voyage of the Dawn Treader”, and after leaving circles yesterday I was driving out to the Long Beach area to meet some friends for dinner. I got to the part in the story where they meet Ramandu, the fallen star, and his daughter. When Ramandu tells them that he is a star Eustace says that in his world starts are balls of burning gas. The star responds to this by saying...

“that is what they are made of, not what they are.”

-C. S. Lewis “The Voyage of the Dawn Treader”

I don't know why that struck such a deep cord with me but it did! It stirs something very deep in my heart and mind.It's both thought provoking and beautiful. I guess it made me think of God's intent and purpose for things. How His intentional He is. I suppose that this is the best type of beauty, something that isn't just nice to look at. Something that needs you to dwell on it, something that stirs and challenges you.

So I guess you could say that that is the prettiest pretty there is.

Some Recent Church Notes

The Lord gave me the week on New Years eve, it's an image of compromise. She is giving only a shard of her heart to the Lord.

This was a study on anxiety and worry. What I really loved about this study and never understood was that to be worried is to be double minded. That was such a powerful realization! This past year was a nightmare, I had so much anxiety. I was literally letting Satan and his brood tear my heart and mind into pieces. How I fought it was to choose humility and realize that I need to repent from these thoughts, feelings, and fears. I had to CHOOSE to pray against them.

This past weeks study was on guarding your mind against spiritual warfare. His spiritual eye is open and the Holy Spirit is upon him. The demon can not stand the the fact that he is focusing his mind on the Glory that is God. The concept here is that the eye is like the a combination of the Shekinah glory and the tongue of flames that rested upon the heads of the people at Pentecost.

New Seasons...

I was debating whether or not to start a new blog or just continue posting on my old one. I decided that this commitment I am making with CIRCLES deserves it's own space. So here I am making a blog dedicated CIRCLES. Expect some cross pollination of my blogs. I try and pot my church notes each week other blog so I expect ill do the same here. I suppose I will post some of my blog's from here onto there as well. Well now I am rambling, so forgive me.

Things about me...
I am always drawing, so please forgive me if you see me drawing in a meeting or at Church. It actually helps me listen better.
I love coffee.
I am dyslexic and cant spell to save my life.
A surefire way to cheer me up and put a huge grin on my face is to show me something cat related. I was obsessed with cats a child, and I kind of carried a lot of that into adulthood.
Huge comic nerd.
Been to J.K. Rowling's house.
Taught High School Art for a year.
I was in G.A.T.E. (smart kids) and R.S.P. (remedial class) at the same time as a child.
I love books on tape.

And I suppose we can get to know each other more over the next 8 months. I am stoked about that I LOVE meeting people. Expect this blog to be a peek into my head. The Lord speaks to me a lot through my thought life, so when he shares a bit of wisdom with me I will put it on here. Blogs make awesome sounding boards. And don't be surprised if I post drawing on here, I tend to do that. And when I get home I'll prolly decorate this blog.