I have been meaning to write this blog all week, excited about that the Lord is going to show me as I write it. It's so stupid that it took me to Saturday to make time for this. I am sorry Lord. I need to be more intentional, and I can not afford to forget that truth. I live, we live! in such an overly busy and many times falsely "hectic" culture. False because very seldom do we stress out over things that merit such investment of our time, and emotional stress. Now that I am aware of this battle on the plains of my heart I need to fight it, and fight it with intentionality. If I know I am going to be busy tomorrow, then I need to go to bed early tonight so I can intentionally have time to spend with the Lord.
Any who my intentions for this post is not about intention. But about something else that the Lord has been showing me about my heart. Ever since 3 weeks ago when Darin had us read that print out about repentance and confession. At first while reading through it I didn't really sink in. The Lord has done A LOT in my heart this past year. I heard whispers of the enemy saying, "you have already learnt all of this... this offers you nothing you don't already know. This is probably for the others now you" That last statement was what made me realize these are thoughts were not my own, and definitely not from God. So I prayed what the Lord would humble me and help me see through the lies to the truth of the situation.
After Circles I hung out with some friends from church. A bunch of us met up out in LA to see the Groundlings perform (if you are unaware they are a sketch comedy club, a lot of SNL guys come from there). After we went to dinner at this really cool place with the best name EVER! It was called Frankie's Place! haha it was cool. In fact Frankie was there to greet everyone, and he was quite pleased to meet another Frankie, as was I. I though I was having fun, but on the drive home my friend texted me and basically told me in that I was an ass to her all evening. Sorry for the language, but that word communicates best on how I was acting. "Jerk" or "mean" just doesn't cut it. At first my ego flared up, an instant later I felt the Lord place his hand on my heart to quiet it. He was then able to tell me that it was pride.
From that moment the Lord has been showing me some of the deeper parts of my heart. The lesson I am learning now is how Vain I am. He is showing me how widespread this issue is in my heart, my ego, my art work, my weight, my perception of myself, my view of the world, and I am sure the list can go on. How it so goes against what the Lord is growing and developing in me. Both in my talents, with my artwork, and with my spiritual gifting, with discernment. Basically what I am learning is that Vanity is just a prettier form of pride. Pride gets in the way and take the Glory from God. So the less vanity there is the less pride there is, and the less pride there is the less of me there is, and the less of me there is the more of Him there is, and the more of him there is the more He can do. And that is just super cool.
And I have to be careful not to be VAIN enough to think this is an issue I face alone! ha ha the devil is so crafty, good thing God is smarter. :)
Please keep this issue in prayer for me. Thanks guys.
P.S. -I love you all.